Monday, December 18, 2006

Best Moment of Past 24 Hours

Setting INT. THE VAN 2:48 AM

Laura: Mc Fucking Donald's noooooooo. noooooooo. whhhhy?!?!

Laurita: I neeeed food, I gotta eat.

Laura: Mc Fucking Donalds AGAIN!

Sienna: (feigns sleep)

Laura: My brother has a contract with the Japanese to bottle all the cherries they can eat. Sometimes men from the contract, Japanese men, I mean the men who are with the Japanese who eat the cherries in the bottles...those men, you know, SIENNA! SIENNA! what are those men?! they're like all whatjamacalliting on the trees. SIENNA! They come and try new stuff out on the trees. They come, ALL THE WAY FROM JAPAN, to like, do experiments on the trees. They wrap them in tinfoil and sometimes they spray them with stuff. It's soooooooooooooooooooooooo crazy. It's a really good thing to have a contract, though, it's like, really really a goood thing. Mc Fucking Donalds! SIENNA!! Are you asleep?

Sienna: (feigns sleep)

Laura: I used to pack the cherries in the bottles in the cherry shed. I would like put them in this big vat of like formaldehyde. In they go like that, like all normal and stuff and then they come out like a WEEK later and you have a maraschino cherry! yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay! I looooooooooove those things. And we would have, like, jars and jars of them just lying around everywhere in the house. They were just EVERYWHERE we had soooo many jars of cherries.....I would just eat them, like all the time. I would just eat and eat and eat those cherries. I was like rrrrrraaaaauuuuummmmm rrruuuum rrrrraaaaauuuuum. I loved them SOOOOO much. I'll have a number nine with a diet coke. LAURITA??!?!? what do you want?

Laurita: Fries and a yogurt parfait.

Laura: So, ANYWAY, sometimes the jars of cherries would jsut be everywhere, cause we had like this CRAZY contract with JAPAN. I mean ALL of Japan! That's, like, A LOT of cherries right? so we had to wrap the trees in tinfoil and try new stuff to make them grow faster.....and we'd....(lulled to sleep by the sound of her own voice, Laura eventually passes out with a half eaten burger in hand)

INT. VAN 3:15 AM

Laura: WHERE is my Hector on Stilts CD? why is it gone? where is it? SIENNA!?!?! SIENNA!?!?!? Are you asleep?

Sienna: (feigns sleep)

Laura: Oh well, that's a lot of cherries though....(discovers rest of burger in hand and eats it)

Wednesday, November 22, 2006

Drinkin' Smokin' and Swearin'

If you REALLY want to know what happens on the road, check out this video on Blender's website. Beware! We're Potty Mouths!!! Also, click on "More" for photos.

http://www.blender.com/video/862/TheRandiesOnTheRoad.video

p.s. it starts after truck commercial

p.p.s. whenever i play i think about all the people i fucking hate

WHY?!?!?

does sleep elude me? Sice I got back from tour I've been homeless, despite the very best efforts of friends and family. I'm sleeping at my Dad's temporary place in Venice and I woke up at 4 AM.

Been up since four
Cat's at the door
Meowing it's head off
And begging for more
Food.

blah


..


Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting

Wednesday, November 08, 2006

We Are SOOOOOOO METAL!!!

Check out the January 2007 issue of Metal Edge Magazine!!! Who is that sparkly little band just two down from Iron Maiden????? Why, It's THE RANDIES of Course. Read the article when it comes out we F'n ROCK!

Behind The Orange Curtain






We Wanna See You There!!!

Saturday, October 21, 2006

Revelry in Indiana

I'm sure all of you have seen the pics of us with our trophy for Sexiest Band since we've just about beaten you over the head with them in every avenue of communication available....but HERE are a few highlights from the celebratory hijinks that you may not have seen yet......



Aaron and Master of Ceremonies Greg Brenner who also (kindly put us up in his house....ya it's true.... I lost my voice, aquired a fever, and spent the next 24 hours asleep on Gregs couch)




Laura lounging sexily with our trophy on, what else, the pool table!





Some lovely lady who was inspired by Laura's grace and thought the pool table looked darn comfy.

Friday, October 20, 2006

Soul Mates

I know I've been a little lazy about posting blogs on this tour.....So I thought I'd hit you with a very special photo story about the night in Boston where Laura and Aaron met their soul-mates:



Here's Laura with Jeb from Hector on Stilts....Maybe it's the helmet, or maybe it's the pabst, but these two are definitely kindred spirits.....The body language experts in US magazine would tell you the same thing. And here's me and Jeb's brother contemplating the union:



Sienna: "I wonder if their babies will be born with helmets?"

Clayton: "Hmmmmm....helmet babies.....cute!"

That brings me to the real love connection that happened that night in Boston:




Aaron and the BIGGEST beer EVER!!

Unfortuneately the stars did not align that night for Laurita......She didn't meet her great admirer until we got to punk rock night in Indiannapolis:

Thursday, October 12, 2006

um

yes

Globe Link

Friday, September 22, 2006

girls on SKATES!

Shit. I can't wait!!!! hot chicks on skates bashing into eachother, what could be better!

Of course you've probably seen this already:



but just to really get you really pumped for saturday I've assembled a little photo-collage of Derby Girls kicking ass and taking names. Here we go:




I mean, Puh-LEEEEEZ. this lady is what is commonly reffered to as "da bomb"













so there ya go, folks...that's what you have to look forward to on saturday....oh, and also we're going to melt your MINDS!!!!