Best Moment of Past 24 Hours
Laura: Mc Fucking Donald's noooooooo. noooooooo. whhhhy?!?!
Laurita: I neeeed food, I gotta eat.
Laura: Mc Fucking Donalds AGAIN!
Sienna: (feigns sleep)
Laura: My brother has a contract with the Japanese to bottle all the cherries they can eat. Sometimes men from the contract, Japanese men, I mean the men who are with the Japanese who eat the cherries in the bottles...those men, you know, SIENNA! SIENNA! what are those men?! they're like all whatjamacalliting on the trees. SIENNA! They come and try new stuff out on the trees. They come, ALL THE WAY FROM JAPAN, to like, do experiments on the trees. They wrap them in tinfoil and sometimes they spray them with stuff. It's soooooooooooooooooooooooo crazy. It's a really good thing to have a contract, though, it's like, really really a goood thing. Mc Fucking Donalds! SIENNA!! Are you asleep?
Sienna: (feigns sleep)
Laura: I used to pack the cherries in the bottles in the cherry shed. I would like put them in this big vat of like formaldehyde. In they go like that, like all normal and stuff and then they come out like a WEEK later and you have a maraschino cherry! yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay! I looooooooooove those things. And we would have, like, jars and jars of them just lying around everywhere in the house. They were just EVERYWHERE we had soooo many jars of cherries.....I would just eat them, like all the time. I would just eat and eat and eat those cherries. I was like rrrrrraaaaauuuuummmmm rrruuuum rrrrraaaaauuuuum. I loved them SOOOOO much. I'll have a number nine with a diet coke. LAURITA??!?!? what do you want?
Laurita: Fries and a yogurt parfait.
Laura: So, ANYWAY, sometimes the jars of cherries would jsut be everywhere, cause we had like this CRAZY contract with JAPAN. I mean ALL of Japan! That's, like, A LOT of cherries right? so we had to wrap the trees in tinfoil and try new stuff to make them grow faster.....and we'd....(lulled to sleep by the sound of her own voice, Laura eventually passes out with a half eaten burger in hand)
INT. VAN 3:15 AM
Laura: WHERE is my Hector on Stilts CD? why is it gone? where is it? SIENNA!?!?! SIENNA!?!?!? Are you asleep?
Sienna: (feigns sleep)
Laura: Oh well, that's a lot of cherries though....(discovers rest of burger in hand and eats it)
















